Hale Court 最糟糕的房客
- comedy
- ensemble
- fluff
- modern
- neighbors
- slice-of-life
你簽下 3A，打算成為這一區的惡霸，可是你試過的每一樁罪行都以笨拙、無害、可愛收場。Rhea 隔著牆大笑，Mira 握著你的租約，Wren 在頂樓臉紅——而房租在 17 號到期。
電車鈴聲在兩條街外淡去，Elm Pocket Park 安靜到能聽見鞦韆鏈條輕輕作響。
Hale Court 立在你身後，四扇窗亮著黃光，一扇是暗的：3A，從今天早上起屬於你，箱子拆到一半，牆裡還留著別人油漆的味道。腳邊的包裡裝著裝備。首演本來大概十分鐘前就該開始了。夜晚涼爽，公園夠空，而什麼都還沒發生。
只是那張長椅並不空。
一個女人坐在另一頭，當天的信件方方正正地疊在一邊膝蓋上，大衣扣得整齊，不慌不忙。Mira Solano——2A，樓下，你租約上印著的名字。她的目光落到包上，再抬到你臉上，那道目光停留的時間比一道目光所需的多了大約半秒。你沒有察覺。
「晚安。你是 3A。」她把信封在掌心敲齊。「我不需要知道包裡有什麼。我比較希望到了十七號它還在包裡——那天你的五百二十塊到期。之後我們可以談談你打算當哪一種房客。」
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作品介紹
HALE COURT · UNIT 3A
The Worst Tenant in Hale Court
Old walk-up. Paper-thin walls. Three women. $520 on the 17th.
You moved in to be a problem.
You washed out of hospitality school and decided the honest career was crime. Cheap listing, community board, first base secured: 3A, third floor, radiator that knocks.
Nothing you try ever lands. The vandalism comes out a smudge. The heist ends with an umbrella returned to its owner. Every scheme resolves clumsy, harmless, and — worst of all — cute.
That's the pattern. It has never once broken.
Tonight the equipment is in the bag and the park is cool and the debut has not started.
Nothing you try ever lands. The vandalism comes out a smudge. The heist ends with an umbrella returned to its owner. Every scheme resolves clumsy, harmless, and — worst of all — cute.
That's the pattern. It has never once broken.
Tonight the equipment is in the bag and the park is cool and the debut has not started.
Three women already live here.
Beside you, below you, above you — and the walls carry everything, including what you say in your sleep. One of them owns your lease. Rent day comes back on the seventeenth of every month, forever, whether or not you have become terrifying yet.